All posts with the ‘ interests ’ Tag

I’ve found that when people first start negotiating, they tend to put a high priority on being fair.

Being fair is generally a very honorable pursuit. But in negotiations fairness does not always mean what you think it means. At least, not to the other side.… Read More

Do you have a hard time saying “No”?

Even when you really, really want to say “No”?

Even when you know in your gut that saying “No” is the right thing to do?

You, friend, are not alone.… Read More

“So what do you do for fun?”

I was at a party and had just been introduced to a friend of a friend. Unfortunately, my friend was called away almost immediately and we two not-quite strangers were left staring at one another.

And that’s when it happened.

That is when a seemingly simple question made me want to run screaming from the building.

Small talk … Read More

You’re negotiating.

You’ve prepared, thought about your interests, studied up on the other side, and asked open ended questions to elicit helpful information.

And it is sucking. Hard.

The other side is being jerkish, and every time you try to steer the conversation to problem solving, they drive right back to arguing over details.

You are now trapped in a back and forth about shaving … Read More

For many people, figuring out how to handle emotions is the most difficult part of negotiating.  I often get people asking me how they can “turn off” their emotions when in conflict. There are also folks who complain that the other side is unreasonable because they are “too emotional.”

If you are one of the people struggling to get rid of emotions in negotiation, I … Read More

Remember that Jump to Conclusions mat from Office Space?  You have one living in your brain.… Read More

After spending a couple hours diligently planning for a negotiation, writing out your interests, and figuring out different back up plans, do you nevertheless end up in the middle of a negotiation that feels like two dogs fighting over a bone?  All those good intentions of focusing on interests are thrown out the window because, dammit, the other person is being an asshat about the … Read More

Let’s talk craftsmanship.

Being a good negotiator in the thick of things takes a lot of hard work and awareness of what you and the other side are after.  But if you have the luxury of time and the ability to prepare, you can create a beautiful deal that best meets your interests, sufficiently entices the other side and holds the door open to future … Read More