All posts with the ‘ interests ’ Tag

A while back I wrote about how people hate losing.  It is a quirky little nit in our psychological make up that causes us to dislike losing more than we like winning.  As a result, we put a lot more energy and effort into avoiding losing than we do into winning.

I got a gentle reminder recently of how powerful fear can be.  Especially … Read More

If you’ve been reading for a while you know that I’m sort of obsessed with you getting, using and sharing information when you negotiate.

Interest based negotiation is only effective when you know what one another’s true interests in the deal are.  You can only know what those interests are if you have information.

So how do we get more information?  By asking questions.… Read More

As a society we’re sort of obsessed with losing things.

Losing your mind; your virginity; control; face; weight; your religion; your grip; your hair; touch; ground.

Generally speaking, we associate “losing” with things that are bad (OK, except maybe the virginity thing).

So it shouldn’t come as a shock that psychologically humans hate losing more than we like winning.  A lot more.

Radio Lab did … Read More

‘Tis the season for questions.

I am a big fan of asking questions during a negotiation.  As a means of gathering information, asking questions is about 10 times easier than being imprinted with the skills of a covert spy, breaking into the NSA and stealing a planted file, all while running in high heels.  (er, “spoiler.”)

But not all questions are created … Read More

Batgirl:  So, didja figure out the BATNA in the last post?

Batman:  Maybe.  But why would I tell you?

BG:  You didn’t figure it out.

BM:  Yes, I did.

BG:  OK, remember, it had to fit three rules, right?

BM:  Right.  Uhh…… Read More

OK, we’ve talked interests, we’ve talked goal setting, we’ve talked about various ways in which to communicate when negotiating, but we haven’t talked BATNA.

No, that wasn’t an accidental spasm on my keyboard.  That was BATNA.

Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement… Read More

Blah, blah, blah, interests, blah, blah.

Am I right?

Ok, fair enough.  You need proof.  I get that.

You just have to do something for me in your next 3 negotiation conversations (talking with the spouse about making dinner? counts!  navigating a tricky situation with a co-worker?  counts!  just about any conversation you have while traveling?  counts!).

Ask questions.

BEFORE you make a decision about … Read More

I just wanted an excuse to post her picture on the blog.… Read More