All posts with the ‘ Psychology ’ Tag

People waste a ridiculous amount of time worrying about power in negotiations.

They worry about having it, or getting it or stopping others from taking it. They invest precious time trying to figure out how best to prove their power, like where to sit in the room or who gets to talk first.

The problem with wasting your time like this is that you put … Read More

Your goal for this week: complain.

You must bitch and moan and highlight the injustice of your plight.

You must be sincere. You must be honest. You must provide details, including dates and names.

You must release this negativity into the world intentionally, preparing yourself for positive returns.

There’s just one catch.

You can’t complain about anyone else. You have to complain about yourself, and … Read More

You can’t control a number of things in a negotiation. You can’t control if a negotiation will happen. You can’t control what the other side will want from you. And you can’t control how you’ll feel about a negotiation.

But there is a lot you can control and influence in the negotiation.

If you only focus on what you can’t control you will have frustrating … Read More

I think I was 12 when I first learned the phrase “self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“So you like, wish things into being? Like you think about them and then they happen?”

I thought it was made up gobbelty gook that only crazy people would believe.

Turns out, I’m wrong.

… Read More

When I talk to freelancers and artists about why they’re afraid of negotiating I often hear

“What if I don’t know what to say? What if they say something outrageous and I don’t know what to say and end up blurting out ‘yes’?”

It’s a perfectly rational thing to worry about. And you wouldn’t be the first one to do it if it happened.

There … Read More

I’ve probably taken the Myers-Briggs personality test, or some variation on it, at least a dozen times over the course of my life so far.

Every time I’ve taken it in the last twenty years, the proctor has given me the results with a raised eyebrow.

Why?… Read More

Last week was the United States’ annual celebration of gratitude, Thanksgiving. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, it should come as no surprise that Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays: a time to reflect on what is good and appreciate what we have.

I’m always sad that it passes so quickly.

So here is my plug for prolonging the holiday spirit and … Read More

Have you ever described a difficult negotiation by saying:

“They’re being unreasonable.” or “I don’t know why they don’t care about fixing this.” or “They’re just jerks; that’s the problem.”

If you answered “yes” you may be suffering from a serious, but curable, condition known as conflictus conflatiitis.  … Read More