All posts with the ‘ practical advice ’ Tag

The kind of negotiation I advocate is a style where information needs to be shared because you’re not talking with the other person about the thing you want, you’re talking about why you want what you want.

I believe that negotiations are essentially problem solving events, and, as such, it’s more important to know all the factors contributing to the problem than it is to … Read More

London was fantabulous and we had a blast.  There were museums and historic walks and pubs and Tubes and plays and tea and not a whole lot of complicated negotiating.  I haggled over a tchotchke in a market once and that was about it (saved about $12, thankyouverymuch).

As I reenter the world of posting regularly, I thought I’d start out with a bit of … Read More

Have you ever wrapped up a big conversation, gotten up to clear your head, and realized you forgot to discuss one of the most important things you wanted to talk about?

Have you ever said something stupid during a stressful interaction that you wish you could take back later?

How about regretting that you agreed to a particular term in a negotiation and your only … Read More

A while back I wrote about how people hate losing.  It is a quirky little nit in our psychological make up that causes us to dislike losing more than we like winning.  As a result, we put a lot more energy and effort into avoiding losing than we do into winning.

I got a gentle reminder recently of how powerful fear can be.  Especially … Read More

If you’ve been reading for a while you know that I’m sort of obsessed with you getting, using and sharing information when you negotiate.

Interest based negotiation is only effective when you know what one another’s true interests in the deal are.  You can only know what those interests are if you have information.

So how do we get more information?  By asking questions.… Read More

Criticism.

It’s just plain no fun when someone tells you they think you did a crappy job on something.

Criticism that isn’t invited or sought out can feel invasive and undeserved, or like someone just discovered your dirty secret.  It can leave you feeling off kilter and exposed.

And while criticism can be helpful and give you a perspective on something that turns out to … Read More

It should come as a shock to no one that I am a big fan of agreements in writing.  You might think it’s the lawyer in me that likes agreements written out and explained.  It is not.  It is the lazy person in me.… Read More

I gave a training on negotiation a few weeks ago and in preparation found myself flipping through Getting to “Yes!” again.  Written by Roger Fisher and my sometimes negotiation boyfriend William Ury, Getting to “Yes!” was originally published in 1981.  It remains one of the very best books you can read about interest based negotiation, and if you haven’t read it, set aside an … Read More